"Once in a while you find someone who makes such a difference in your life that to call that person a friend is not enough. That person is family and that is what you are to me"
I looked at my blog this morning and thought boy I need to update this badly but right now I don't have the energy or the mind set to do it. Then I had lunch with my friend Connie who is/has been there hand in hand with me during this year of "grief." Connie lost her mother about 1.5 months after I lost my father and although we were acquaintances we became "sisters" through this process and I so enjoy every moment and time we have to share.
Today we talked alot about this first year of loss and transitioning into what was described to us by others "as worse than the first year." I don't know how many people told us after you get through these "firsts" everything gets better. Then we had people tell us "the second year is worse" and Connie and I both agreed today that the second year is indeed worse. It is hard to describe but it is like well we made it through in this fog and disbelief state and now the first year is over and bam it hits you smack in the face that they are never returning. The fog is lifted and the reality has set in.
Connie talked about having someone call and talk about how they were leaving on a family vacation with all their kids and how they were so looking forward to it and really to Connie it was with such disregard to how she was really feeling "I want to be going to the beach with my mom." Just like when I returned from Phoenix "I bet it was the greatest time." Well yes there were great moments but there was also so many sad moments, so many sad memories, and sad goodbys. So Connie and I talked alot about those things today and I feel so priviledged that I have someone to share those feelings with . . . someone to walk that path with.
We talked about Michelle Meyer and others that we have become familiar with because of Michelle's website that have that "1st Anniversary" right around the corner. How awful a reality it will be for them when it doesn't get better. Some of those mother's lost their spouses and now raise children that they have too support emotionally. Connie's own mother at 34 raised five little girls all by herself. Woman and Men like this are heros is our book.
So this brief blog is to thank the woman that walked and continues to walk by my side as we travel through this journey we didn't chose but was choosen for us. Much love and thoughts to those who walk this road too; although we don't always meet, Connie and I think of you and know what you are experiencing.
1 comment:
Oh yes dear Sue, thank heavens we have each other, all of us. All on this journey of life, different circumstances, but all experiencing a great loss. I could never make it through this without all of you! As for the first year....I think you are right, its probably all a fog, and then it does lift, and then...it hits even harder. All we can do is carry on. And help each other. Thank you for being a friend.
Cathy
www.lessonsfromlou.blogspot.com
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