SLEEP
I know it sounds like a silly topic but it is a word I have started to treasure when it happens. I thought of it today because last night was one of the first nights in months I have actually slept through the night and woke up rested. Of course woke up at 4:00 a.m. for the day but slept from 11:00 p.m. till then. It was the most straight through sleep in a long time. My typical sleep is to bed about 10:30 up at 1 back down at 2 sleep till 4 back up till 5 and sleep till 6:15 or so and RUSH like crazy to get ready for work. Night time brings such horrible memories and dreams for me. Sometimes I wake up thinking my dad is right in the other room and I get up looking for him and he isn't there and I just cry. I sometimes wonder if that feeling or those thoughts will ever go away or are they here for the rest of my life. Sometimes I wake up just shaking to think it isn't Tom next to me but my dad and I need to make sure he is still breathing and he hasn't left us. I have a beautiful portrait and certificate we received after he died from Washington D.C. for his service to the country hung on the front room wall and sometimes at night I just go and stare at it and wonder why this all happened. I always thought night time was to be peaceful and restful and now nighttime is my most dreaded time. I think that is why I try to keep my family doing things and hate when people start wanting to go to bed . . . .Maybe peace will come again in the night for me.
2 comments:
Hi Sue I understand about sleep. I am up and down all night also. I check on our Caringbridge friends and say a prayer or two. Others don't understand why we can't go to sleep and wake in the morning feeling refreshed. Guess it is not meant to be.
My mind continues to spin as soon as I wake.
Here's to a good night sleep.
Hmmmm...
okay, girls, do you think it's in the water where we work????
Up in the wee hours,
reading websites,
restless thoughts,
busy, busy
all day long,
time to unwind,
but can't,
just can't.
The bustle of the day
quiets down,
but not me.
Inside, I rev.
Doing dishes,
reading books,
sitting on the deck,
staring at stars.
Anything but sleep.
It's like the butterfly,
or the shy child,
if you chase it too much,
it flies away.
Someday, peace at night,
peace in our minds,
peace in our hearts.
I'm behind on posts, and have to say I ADORE the picture of that teeny little girl. Oh, girls are so precious! She's absolutely adorable.
Love, Shell
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